The Journey: A Lady In Life

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I was born kamaaina to Oahu. Learning the Hawaiian way way Special to me. It reminded me over the years of how many others need to live with more Compassion and Patience. It is what helps me look at everything going on in today's society the way I do. Coming from a neglect filled background can render some harsh feelings when you feel disconnected from the one person you love. The person I chose to be with. The person that is there for me. Well, as of this point, emotionally I'm taking a toll.

It has now become a reality about Business & Ohana. Both are never going to be well balanced and there are certain things in a relationship that will take a toll. Over the years it has been difficult to feel completely secure. Thoughts of "did we rush into this too fast", "did he really want a Ohana or did he just say that", "Is he using me to try and prove a point to someone" or even "Why did he even say he wanted kids" and "do my emotions really matter".

The fact that we are engaged concerns me about feeling this way. The questioning, the on edge, the not knowing what he thinks or he might say. The loneliness that comes night after night of sleeping alone. The way he is after being asked for a Ohana favor & copping attitude like Im bothering him when reminding him with something HE told me we would do and not getting to it... It takes a toll. 

Having a new born can definitely make someone reanalyze their Life. All I know, While business seems to be picking up, we are taking a hit. And while taking that hit, I know that Compassion for my feelings and thoughts go a long way. Will we last? Only time is the teller. - Lady


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