Numb

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Aloha Everyone,
Since the spontaneous move to Vegas I wake up with feelings of nauseousness many days. I feel like crying at random times and my anxiety is constant. Lately it has been a struggle of belief. You know, words hold merit with me and I am constantly wondering why. Hearing things be repeated time after time of hearing the same thing from the same person will leave anyone in a confused state of mind & believing them. It has come to me that I am more detached to my relationship because of this and I am not sure when I will be back. I remember living with my sis in law and we got into a tiff. It was over the dishes and petty and ended up with her telling me to get out. So, I did. For the last year now I been hearing the push away statements from my very own lover. Who has also decided to take the denial route with whatever I come to him with. Being laid off for two years can be tough on any relationship, but when a partner has taken complete and utter pity on himself, it is hard to get any man out of it or to see. The denial behind him helping cause any of my emotional hurt is evident. That is what hurts the most. To have someone you know has verbally and emotionally hurt you and they do not even take accountability for it. It is a constant fight for peace with him. And Emotionally, I'm stuck.  - Lady


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